College will acquaint you so thoroughly to the reality that your body has needs that, if unmet, will make you feel like Death For A Thousand Years In The Abyss, a fate so disproportionate to the simplicity of drinking An Water or eating A Food or perhaps indulging in A Sleep or Washing Off The Gunk, that you are constantly humbled by the pure silliness of being made of mortal flesh
put spikes on your wheelchair’s handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it’ll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you’re abducted. wail like you’re in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say “fuck you” under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we’re fighting dirty. we have to.
someone grabbed my wheelchair today and then shouted “ouch! there’s spikes!”
YEAH!! GET FUCKED !!!!!!
I’m not a mobile aid user myself but I ask for the sake of my followers who are, where would one happen to purchase spikes/barbs and how would one safely apply them?
spikes: purchasable from plenty of fabric stores, tailors, clothing retailers, orderable online in a lot of places. if amazon is all you can manage, they’re sold there too.
barbed wire: hardware stores and garden centers, mostly, but also online.
i tightly crocheted sleeves for my wheelchair handles and stuck spikes through, secured with hot glue and clear nail polish. i’ve known people to hot glue cable ties to their cane to hold a wrapping of barbed wire around it.
i can’t remember where to get them from but i also have a friend who got fake barbed wire around his chair. looks real but is silicone and therefore harmless and painless to touch. so if putting sharp things on your aid will make it unsafe for you, maybe just fake it.
how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”
pardon me, i should clarify. you wouldn’t say that, assuming that you aren’t a total dipshit. i would not say that either. some people, however, hate children and firmly believe that everyone should be miserable unless they’re at church
several of you pointed out that, often, conservative christians want you to be especially miserable at church. so true. grave oversight on my part
